


cabin pressure

by chasingconstellations



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Rated T for language, Spoilers for Book 2: Wayward Son, because I spent wayward son screaming JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER, we love some healthy communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-23 00:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20883368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingconstellations/pseuds/chasingconstellations
Summary: Simon and Baz are on their way back to help solve yet another problem, this time at Watford. But they have a 12 hour plane ride before that:12 hours where they can maybe confront their own problems.





	cabin pressure

**Author's Note:**

> I finished wayward son and immediately wrote this, because whilst I loved the angst, I also would love our boys to communicate properly. it was a great form of catharsis.
> 
> (I did love wayward son I just need the communication that I know is going to be in book three faster than I know book 3 is going to come out)
> 
> also, this is the first fic I've published in literal years, so yeah. thank you to alice (BlueFeatherQuill) for beta-reading and also screaming with me about wayward son! if you also want to scream with me about the beauty of wayward son you can find me on tumblr at readingbacktohappiness. lets scream together.

** _BAZ_ **

Trouble at Watford, Bunce said. Apparently, in between grilling her for leaving the country without telling anyone and the subsequent international crime that followed, that’s all she’d been able to glean from her mother.

Simon has been singularly focused since Bunce ran out to us on the beach. He's given no more than one word answers - and only those when forced out of him. He’s sitting next to me, bouncing his leg as we wait for our group to be called for boarding when I finally snap.

‘Are you planning on annoying me for the whole flight, Snow?’ I say, laying my hand on the top of his knee to slow its bouncing. Simon only looks at me when it's finally stilled, his jaw clenched and eyes hard as steel. I try a gentler approach, leaning in towards him.

Hoping he won’t push me away.

‘There’s nothing we can do until we get back to London. We’ve been non-stop for the past week; give yourself these twelve hours to rest.’

I can see that he wants to fight me - I think he will, for a brief moment - but then the fight leaves his eyes, his posture sags, and he just looks… drained.

‘Okay,’ he says, nodding. He turns to face forwards, staring at the little screen that lets us know that they’re currently boarding sections A, C, and F. My eyes find Bunce, Agatha, and Shepard in the queue to board - they’re in section C, whilst Simon and I are in D. I almost feel like it was a deliberate move on Bunce’s part, especially when she stated that Simon and I should sit together, and the three of them would sit further up, like it was the obvious answer. I suppose it should have been.

But I can’t stop thinking about what Simon said on the beach, how insistent he was for me to stay here. Because I know I would follow him anywhere, but I’m beginning to think he doesn’t want me to anymore. 

  


** _SIMON_ **

I want to take my hands out of my pockets and cling to Baz’s hand for dear life. I want to wrap my arms around him, bury my face in his chest and cry. I want to do a lot of things. But I can’t - Baz’s words keep echoing in my head. He wants to be wherever I am, and that’s exactly the problem. I don’t belong in his world anymore. And I’m about to be thrown right back into the heart of it at Watford.

I settle for just leaning my head on his shoulder, slowly. Reassuring myself that he’s there, in one piece. Enjoying it whilst he still is. Baz rests his head on top of mine like I’m an easily spooked animal. 

I don’t even register the call for our section, Baz having to nudge me up. He holds out his hand and I take it to stand up, then take it back to grab my passport and boarding pass. I flash half a smile at Baz, who just turns to join the queue. 

Problem is, Baz was right. I can’t do anything for the 12 hour plane journey. I had been expecting to watch awful films like I did the whole way here, but as soon as I sit down it becomes obvious my screen is broken, so I huff and close my eyes, hoping that sleep will distract me from the awful cramp in my wings.

  


** _BAZ_ **

Snow’s head falls back onto my shoulder before we’ve even taken off, and I follow his lead, making the most of the darkened cabin lights. When I wake up, I’ve no idea how long we’ve been sleeping, but we’re touching shoulder to foot, hands intertwined. The meal trolley is rattling along the aisle, two or three people ahead, so I nudge Simon awake. I won’t touch airline food with a barge pole, but I know how much Simon secretly loved the over-salted food on the way here, and how hungry he always is.

He blinks at me, leaving our hands linked and stretching with his other arm.

‘Food’s here,’ is all the explanation I give him, nodding to the flight attendant.

He smiles and shifts, extracting his hand from mine to bring his tray table down. He drums his hands on his thighs and awkward seeps into the silence.

I check that the Normal on my other side is sleeping (he is, mouth open and drool dripping from the side of his mouth; I shift further away from him and into Simon’s side) before murmuring to Simon, ‘How are your wings?’ for the lack of anything else to say.

He shrugs. ‘Cramped. I’m going to get Dr Wellbelove to get them off once we’ve sorted out whatever is going on at Watford.’

‘What?!’ I sit up straight, searching his face some explanation for this change in view. Not forty eight hours ago he was wheeling above the car, refusing to come down. 

He shrugs again. It’s infuriating. It’s like every mile we get closer to England more of his apathy trickles back. ‘I’m thinking of getting a job in the Normal world, as I am one now. Can’t exactly do that with devils wings and a tail.’

I’m still trying to process this information when the flight attendant appears next to us. ‘Chicken or fish?’ 

‘Chicken, please,’ Simon says, smiling full beam at her. 

I wonder if the chicken knows how lucky it is to elicit such a response.

I wave her off when she turns to me and just stare at Simon, who is now devouring his meal with his usual passion. 

‘What sort of thing do you think you’ll do?’ My eyes are fixed on his face, although he doesn’t look back up at me. I’m almost scared to breathe, to ruin this channel of communication that has somehow opened up.

He shrugs again. ‘Don’t know. Not really got a plan yet. Would be nice to be able to pay rent though.’

‘That’s great, if you need any help looking into things, I’ll-’

Snow cuts me off by laughing at me. ‘As if you know the first thing about finding a normal job, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch.’

I scoff, folding my arms over my chest. ‘I’m sure I could help.’

‘You’ll be busy though.’ Snow’s voice has lowered to a volume that I’m not sure I could hear, were it not for the super vampire hearing.

‘What?’

‘You know, figuring out the vampire stuff. Now you have more to think about.’

‘I’ve still got my degree to finish, Snow. That’s in the Normal world.’

Simon shifts in his seat, speaking around the bread roll lodged in his cheeks. ‘Yeah, but after that. You can’t stay in the Normal world forever.’

‘Can’t I?’ 

‘You’re immortal, Baz. People would catch on pretty fast.’

‘I feel like we could come up with some fun cover stories.’ I smirk at him, but he just looks down at his plate and takes a long sip of water.

_ This is it _ , I think. _ I’m going to be dumped at 40,000 feet over the Atlantic. _

But Simon doesn’t say anything more, returning to just munching his way through the fruit and the yoghurt on the tray until there’s nothing left, at which point he leans back and closes his eyes again. And I know I could just fall asleep with him, could just keep pretending, but the thing is that it feels like we’ve been looking over the edge of this precipice for ages, both waiting for the other to bring it up, and I don’t know if I can stand the perpetual suspension for any longer. I need to let us drop. 

It’s clearly what Snow wants, anyway.

I take a deep breath to steel myself, but my voice still comes out smaller than I would have liked. ‘Simon, do you want to be with me?’

Simon’s eyes fly open and he whips around to face me, and I can see my own fear mirrored on his face, the fear of the freefall I’ve flung us into. ‘What kind of question is that?’

‘Answer me. Do you want to be with me. It’s simple enough.’

‘Of course I do. I just don’t want to hold you back.’

I can only stare at Snow in disbelief.

** _SIMON_ **

I swear someone has laced my food with some sort of truth spell or something, because I hadn’t planned on saying any of this to Baz until we were somewhere safe, somewhere calm, after we’d fixed whatever is going down at Watford - if I can be any help fixing it. But once I’ve started speaking, I just can’t stop, and I guess there’s no time like the present.

‘I’m not magic anymore, Baz, I’m a Normal. I don’t belong in your world, you should know that. Hasn’t it been obvious how useless I’ve been this past week? What was it you used to say, “worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen”? You were always right. And now I’m no longer chosen, nowhere near the boy you fell for, so why the hell are you still stringing me along, when you could have - when you deserve so much better?’ My eyes feel hot and I realise I’ve started to cry, which is not good; I don’t want to draw anyone’s attention to our relationship drama when we’re all forced to stay together for a considerable amount of time still. Luckily, everyone in hearing distance is dozing now, or is plugged in to their own screen.

I look to Baz, and see he’s crying too. ‘Simon Snow, you are such a fucking idiot.’ He slides his hand around my neck and pulls me to him, and somehow now him kissing me doesn’t feel suffocating, it just feels so nice. He pulls away quickly, but holds my head close to his, so he doesn’t have to speak above a whisper. ‘Simon, I’m in love with you.’ His voice wavers as he finally says it, and it makes me cry more. ‘Not the Chosen One, not the Greatest Mage, I’m in love with you - your gorgeous hair, and your blue eyes, and your idiotic need to go running into every fight headfirst. I meant it when I said it - I wouldn’t be happy anywhere you weren’t. You needed time - we all did, after everything we went through, but you more than most. I love you, Simon Snow, and you are no-one’s burden.’

I wipe my cheeks with my hands as my breath hitches. Baz catches my hand and holds it tight. 

‘Simon, do you love me?’ 

I hate how small he sounds when he says it, how ready for rejection he is. I hate that I made him sound that way. 

‘Like I’ve never loved anyone else.’ 

We’re just far enough apart that I can see his face light up with a smile, and I can’t help but lean in and kiss the corner of it. But Baz has more to say.

‘Would you still love me if I wasn’t a vampire?’

I pull away from him, startled. He just has that infuriating smirk on his face, one eyebrow raised. ‘Of course I would.’

‘And I still love you, even if all your magic left you in the form of draconic appendages. I still love you, even though I think you could do with drinking one or two less ciders a week, and getting off the couch a bit more. I love you, Simon Snow, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to get you to realise that. And you have never - will never - hold me back. Okay?’

‘I love you so much,’ is what I say by way of confirmation, kissing him again maybe a little too passionately for the public setting. 

This time, we fall asleep deliberately holding hands. When we get off the plane several hours later, hands still intertwined, and Penny raises a thumbs up with a questioning look on her face, we both laugh and hold up a thumbs up each.


End file.
